The Key to Effective Parenting

I remember the day I saw an explanation on the different parenting styles and the explanation that one parenting style appears to be more effective for healthy child development. (I say “appears” because when it comes to parenting, we must remember we are dealing with a person. People are not math formulas or robots, but image bearers of God.) I thought to myself, Yes, give me the key to raising well-adjusted children! I want that! The results: researchers call the parenting style that promotes healthy development in children the “authoritative parent.” Authoritative parenting is defined by “combining a fair degree of parental control with being warm and responsive to children.” Authoritative parents stay involved, respond to children’s emotional needs, spend time with them as well as setting standards and expecting their children to maintain them. (Kail and Cavanaugh, 2019). Authoritative parents exhibit both warmth and set clear standards for their children. Is this model of a parent not exactly what our God is like? A God who is personable and holy. He is loving and righteous. He is grace and truth. Somehow He is able to pull off this perfect balance of tender care and strict adherence to His standards.

Consider these verses of His personable care for us:

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. [a] Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them. (Psalm 139:13-16 ESV)

And consider these verses of His strict adherence to the standards He set:

Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. For truly, I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not an iota, not a dot, will pass from the Law until all is accomplished. Therefore whoever relaxes one of the least of these commandments and teaches others to do the same will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever does them and teaches them will be called great in the kingdom of heaven. For I tell you, unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. (Matthew 5:17-20 ESV) Here is the problem with us human parents: we fail to live up to God’s standard. We usually find ourselves on one side of the ditch of parenting rather than walking the road laid out before us. The hope is that once we understand the model set before us, we persevere to hold to what is good and true and not throw in the towel when we fail. Investing in our children is one of God’s highest callings in our lives as parents. Perseverance in this area reaps great rewards for a lifetime. If you find yourself weary and discouraged with your relationship with your children, please join our Parenting Class for the encouragement and inspiration you need to persevere in this extremely important task. I hope to see you there. Kail, R. & Cavanuagh, J. (2019) Human Development: A Life-Span View. 8th edition. Cengage.

By Jennifer Dixon, MA

Parenting Class